This has been Kellen's diet

Yes. Yes, that is chalk. About a week ago, I got Kellen an easel. He is still learning about coloring and everytime we went to our friends' house, he was good at drawing on the chalk board. I figured that chalk was alot easier to clean off the walls than crayons too.

So we got the easel. The first 2 nights were fine. No incidents to report. But on the 3rd night, he came out of his room looking like he just ate grape Tums. And now everytime I go in his room, there are little pieces of crumbled chalk on the rug. I don't know if it is because I bought him the colored chalk and it looks too tasty to resist or if he just couples crayons and chalk together as staples of his diet? Whatever the reason, it has made for colorful diaper changes.

Alright I need to go vaccum... all the chalk bits from his carpet... AGAIN!!! And for the record, chalk can be pretty sharp when you step on the jagged bits when you are barefoot in the middle of the night.

I die a little every night

Okay, Not really but I feel like it.

A strange thing has started to happen to me at night and now it is starting to happen in the afternoons as well.

After I eat a meal or snack or just drink about 8oz of liquid, I feel like I am going to explode. The only way to describe it is that really uncomfortable, full feeling that you get after making a complete glutton of yourself during a Thanksgiving meal, or 2 Thanksgiving meals if you have to visit 2 families. :-)

I am laid up on the couch, tossing and turning because I can't get comfortable and actually praying to burp or fart to relieve the pressure even though I know it isn't gas. (Kinda gross I know but I want you to fully understand.) And the weirdest part is, I can tell my metabolism is faster because during this time of Shamu-ness ('cause I feel like a whale) I can actually hear my stomach growling. My digestive track is saying "Feed me!" and my abdomen is saying "I dare you!"

I have been noticeably more bloated. And by noticeably, I mean I have noticed it because Dustin thinks all preggos are crazy. :-) I even busted out the preggo jeans the other day because my regular ones were a little too snug and I was going to be cleaning so no one was going to be around to get a shot of my plumber's crack whenever I had to bend over. (They are still too big but it was comfy!)

Luckily, I still have my mornings to eat. That is nice because I haven't felt as pukey the past few days. It is probably a mind over hormones thing. I am telling myself that I need to eat because it isn't going to happen later. And when I eat, I no longer feel icky. Everything bagels with chive cream cheese have been a staple in my diet for about a week. And I need to go to the store and restock because I'm down to my last one...

So there is an update on my expanding waistline.

Dr. Appointment

Today was the infamous Dr. Appt. I went into the appointment very nervous but I had a good feeling in my gut that everything was going to be okay even though I had a little bit of spotting yesterday.

They did all the regular paperwork and labs and then it came down to the ultrasound. I was scared because Dustin's boss made him go back to work and he couldn't be there with me. So... it was me and the boy. Can you imagine a half naked me and 2 ultrasound technicians trying to angle Kellen's stroller so that he could see me yet not get a peep show. It was tight squeeze but we all were situtated.

After about 5 minute of looking around, I heard "There is the baby and the heartbeat." And after a few more minutes, they played the heartbeat so I could hear it. I have never heard anything sound sweeter.

They estimated that I am somewhere between 6-7 weeks based on the baby's growth but my hcg levels were crazy. On the day of my D&C (9weeks preggo), my levels were at 30k. Today, my levels read at 72k!!!  That is crazy. They said they would expect that in twins (don't worry, there is only 1 in there). I think that because I got pregnant right away, my levels just picked up where I left off. :-)

So this is our peanut. You can't tell much from it but I know what it is and I'm happy!

Chicharrones aka Pork Rinds

Oh how I hate and love thee. I don't know when this love started but I believe that it may have originated in child hood. My father also has an affinity for thee therefore I believe this condition is genetic.

I remember the countless times I would sneak over to Walgreens on break and buy a bag of your delicious Hot BBQ flavor. Even through my endless morning sickness with Kellen, my body still tolerated your goodness.

Today I found myself almost demolishing an entire bag of you today.

Please let me be. Please take your bad cravings for thee out of my blood stream. I am tired of feeling guilty and like I belong in a trailer after indulging myself...

Purpose

This morning while I was making myself some eggs, not really important to the story, I started wondering about things. Usually this happens in the bathroom, probably because it is the most quiet place to think. Anyway, back to the story.

I started thinking about what is the purpose of my life. I know the obvious things are to above all, serve my Heavenly Father, and to be a great wife and mother. Those are givens that I understand and I embrace. I was just wondering if I was meant for something more.

God knows the plans he has laid out for us and it isn't necessarily for us to know these but sometimes I wonder if I am somehow a Butterfly Effect. I don't think that my sneeze is going to be responsible for a typhoon in Asia or anything like that but maybe what I teach my children will be passed down to future generations of men and women of greatness. How do we know that George Washington's Great-Great-Great Grandmother was the unknown most important element of his success? :-)

Of course I want success and happiness for my children and it is something that I pray on but sometimes it is fun to think about what you maybe unknowingly doing/causing and how that will one day effect the Kingdom of God.

BTW: If you have never seen the movie Defending Your Life, I suggest you watch. It has Meryl Streep and Albert Brooks and they are in limbo between Heaven and Earth. They are basically on 'trial' to prove that their lives were worthy enough to move on or if there were still things that they needed to learn. There is a really funny scene where they were able to see who they were in past lives. The idea of something like that is entertaining to me. I would like to see who I would've been had I been born in a different time and place.

After much deliberation...

I have decided to post

that we are pregnant again!!!!

This is very scary for me because I will always have the fear that I will miscarry again. I just don't like keeping it a secret because babies are supposed to be celebrated.

I go to the doctor on 2/10. It is hard to say how far along I am but the 10th will be 8 weeks from my D&C. I know that they told us to hold off trying again but after doing alot of research, I found that there is no proven increase in miscarriage rate if you get pregnant right away as opposed to waiting.

We decided that while we weren't going to 'try' we weren't going to prevent things from happening.

We need everyone's prayers that this pregnancy goes smoothly and that God will bless us with a beautiful, healthy baby and K will get to be the great big brother I know he will be.

Teaching Backfire

Being a good mother, I try to expose K to new things and help him develop new skills.

K got crayons for Christmas. Although he still tries to eat them. He is enjoying them. Until he gets caught using them on the wrong places...

This is K's little finger pointing to his masterpiece for Mommy. Thank goodness Magic Erasers were created.

I heard whimperings from the bedroom...

and this is what I found!

He somehow got stuck sitting in his drum and this was the damage. Luckily it was just a couple red marks.

Like Father, Like Son

Where have I been?

There is a pretty good explanation for my extended absence at the end of 2009.


At the beginning of November, D and I found out that we were going to be expecting a new little baby to bless our family. We were both soo excited but wanted to keep it quiet until we had gone to our doctor’s appt.

I went into the first appt and it was really nothing more than some paperwork and taking ‘samples.’ This was unlike what happened with Kellen’s first appt. but that is the army for you. This was on a Wednesday.

On the following Monday morning, I woke up with some very light spotting. I immediately called the doctor and went in. In my gut, I knew that it probably wasn’t going to be good but I stayed hopeful. After doing labs and an ultrasound, it was determined that I had suffered what was called Embryonic Demise.

It turned out that the spotting I was suffering was actually a fluke because my body had had a missed miscarriage. My body was so intent on being pregnant that it had held onto the baby even though it had stopped developing around Week 4 and I was supposed to be 9 weeks by now.

I had a suction D&C on Wednesday December 16, 2009. That was the end of my pregnancy. I was sent home with pain medication and told to wait to try to get pregnant again for 3-6 months. It was hard to deal with. Having K around helped a lot because his smiles, laughter and happiness are contagious.

It was unfortunate that I actually lost a friend through this whole ordeal. She was ever so kind as to tell me, 2 hours after finding out about my miscarriage that she was pregnant. Although I was happy that she had been blessed with another child, her timing was mean and stupid. The demise of the friendship occurred because I told her that while I was happy for her, I wasn’t ready to celebrate with her and listen to her brag about it on Facebook. She then ‘de-friended’ me on Facebook and hasn’t contacted me since. Oh well! I don’t need those types of people in my life.


So that is how I spent the end of 2009. Even though it was terribly hard, overall it was a good year. We moved, I got the opportunity to stay home with K from now on, we decided that we are ready to share our love and family with the next child God blesses us with, we grew stronger as a family and we grew more in the Lord’s love.